People LOVE America's Numero Uno Comic^®!!

"We ran this comic for a short while and it was a total disaster. People hated it."

Editor
Texas

Carlos responds: That editor is an asshole!


"America's Numero Uno Comic generated more hate mail than anything we've ever run."

Editor
New York

Carlos responds: Readers are idiots. If all you want to do is pander to the lowest common denominator, then go ahead and run something like Garfield or Tom Tommorrow, see if I care.


"WARNING: This guy is a complete nut job. When we threatened to cancel his strip, he called up and pretended to be Ringo Starr, and begged us to keep running it. Two minutes later, he calls back and without changing his voice, repeats the pitch...although this time he's supposedly a cancer patient, calling from the hospital, with his dying wish."

Editor
California

Carlos responds: Ringo is a fan, as are many persons with cancer.


"The comic is a HUGE hit! We have a very conservative Christian readership which was obviously not getting enough profanity elsewhere."

Publisher
American Samoa

Carlos responds: Thank you Jesus!


"I'm a huge fan!!!"

Ringo S.
Huge fan
Liverpool, England

Carlos responds: Thank you Vertical Man!


"I wish I'd never seen this goddamn comic. Readers hated it, and it cost us ALL of our major advertising accounts. We're now down to eight pages of sex ads, Tom Tomorrow, and of course, my insightful and timely editorials."

Editor (and recovering alcoholic)
Florida

Carlos responds: This is bullshit! This blowhard's problems stem from the fact that he is a raging alcoholic and a crossdresser who shops at thrift stores. I would sue his sorry ass, but he's already got enough problems. Instead, I will just pity him because I am a BIGGER man than he will ever be! Ha!


"We needed something 'edgy' to attract readers to our online edition, and America's Numero Uno Comic^® certainly helped to achieve this.
Unfortunately, Carlos is a greedy bastard, and his comic now consumes more than 93% of our operating budget."

Publisher
California

Carlos responds: I cut this asshole a deal and this is how he repays me? Fine! He gets a price increase on Monday!


"Enclosed please find payment in full for last month's cartoons."

Editor
South Carolina

Carlos responds: This is the greatest compliment that I (as an artist) could ever hope to receive! God bless you!